At Peace
Ashley’s grandfather, David Buttelwerth, passed away just after noon today. We’d gone over to hospice to sit with him, her grandmother, and her uncle when we very gently and quietly slipped away. To say it was emotional would be an understatement.
The last couple of days, he was medicated into comfort and remained unconscious. He suffered for months with back pain that eventually led us to take him to the hospital where we learned he had more going on than previously believed. Without going into details, it was an uphill battle that he couldn’t win. The only solace I take from this whole thing is that he was without pain in his final moments. Dave was with his beloved wife, son, and granddaughter when he passed, and he’s at peace now.
I had the honor of knowing him for his final decade. Seeing his relationship with Ashley, it was clear he was a good man, husband, father, and grandfather. Among many things about him, I always admired how he was so focused on his hobbies—birding, puzzling, golf scorecard and stamp collecting, and when he was younger, photography. His family would sometimes give him a hard time about what he was into, but his curiosity and drive to keep his mind active and love what he loved is aspirational to me. He was quietly content and comfortable with himself in a way I hope to learn one day.
I’ll miss his smirk when he’d say something sarcastic to someone in the room. I’ll think of him every time I have a Little Debbie or Hostess snack cake. Nary a puzzle will be put together without Dave on my mind. The next time I photograph a bird, I’ll think of him.
Following his passing, we took her grandmother back to her condo in Florence. She was quiet and subdued in a way I’ve never seen her before. Time will tell if she’ll be alright or not. We hope she feels supported despite losing him; she has many people around to lean on should she need it.
Nothing today felt appropriate for Daily Photo. The only thing I came up with was documenting Dave’s chair—the recliner that no one will dare sit in out of respect for their patriarch. It’s going to be a very hard couple of weeks while we figure out what’s next for Dave’s funeral, Grandma, and everyone who loved him.